Be so serious right now

I genuinely cannot believe this is a real article

The Silent Hill video game series follows tormented, traumatized individuals exploring a town where their greatest fears and anxieties manifest themselves in the form of creatures and puzzles. Yesterday, I found an article about the Red Wings that was so evil - so malicious - I could’ve sworn it came straight out of Silent Hill itself.

This article comes from The Hockey Writers, a publication that prioritizes clicks above all else. The article, entitled “Maple Leafs Could Trade Auston Matthews to Red Wings in Suggested League-Altering Blockbuster”, has a title so long I thought it was a Fall Out Boy song.

At first, I was a little intrigued. A trade? For Auston Matthews? I mean, he’s had a rough season and a half, sure, but…what price does this author think the Wings should pay?

I’m gonna hold your hand when I tell you this because I truly couldn’t believe it myself:

“Realistically, the Red Wings could acquire Matthews in exchange for Lucas Raymond, Axel Sandin-Pellikka, Michael Brandsegg-Nygard, and two future first-round draft picks.” - A real, actual quote from the article

I wish I was joking.

First: Let’s talk about it

Let me get this out of the way: I still think Auston Matthews has what it takes to be an elite goal-scorer and top-five player in the league. After all, the guy’s two seasons removed from a 69-goal, 107-point season. Those numbers don’t just happen on a whim. Matthews is one of the best goal-scorers in the league and, even in an oft-injured campaign last year, he still managed 33 goals in 67 games.

But to not address the elephant in the room would be a detriment to both parties.

Auston Matthews vs Simon Edvinsson am I right?

Something’s up with the captain of the Leafs. Some people chalk it up to untreated injuries. Others to a lack of effort due to coaching styles or team chemistry. Either way, Matthews hasn’t played like he has in the past. Take a look at his effort during Simon Edvinsson’s overtime game-winner just a few days ago:

Matthews sat out the next game with a lower-body injury. Did he miss his coverage of Edvinsson because of an injury, or a lack of effort? Either way, I’m left with more questions than answers. If Matthews has been playing through a serious injury, that’s blatant mismanagement by the Leafs. If it’s a lack of effort, do you really think Todd McLellan will let that kind of play slide?

Second: How does any of this make sense?

The Red Wings are currently first in an incredibly tight Atlantic division with just a one point lead on the Montreal Canadiens. Every team in the division is above .500 right now. Any mistake - no matter how minor - could make or break the season. So why, then, would the Red Wings rock the boat?

How it felt enduring this article

“But Jake,” you might be saying, “you just said a few weeks ago that the Wings should trade for Quinn Hughes. What gives?”. Hughes is an elite defenseman — some might even call him the second best defenseman in the league behind Cale Makar. Getting him on the roster, especially if the team wouldn’t have to give away Axel Sandin-Pellikka, would turn the team’s defensive core into a top-five core in the league.

What does Auston Matthews do for Detroit’s offense? It moves Larkin down to a 2C role and gives the offense some extra depth, sure, but at what cost? The author’s proposed trade would send Lucas Raymond the other way. Who fills in on the wing? Breaking up Alex DeBrincat and Patrick Kane, especially with their chemistry, would be detrimental to the roster. Who do you put on Matthews’ other wing opposite Finnie? Marco Kasper, the guy with five points this season? 36-year-old James van Riemsdyk?

It just doesn’t make sense at any level.

Third: The price tag

Like I said earlier, Matthews is one of the best centers in the league. Behind Alex Ovechkin, he’s been the best goal scorer of the last decade. But this is an absolutely astronomical price tag for a guy who’s only on the books for another two seasons after this one. Matthews carries a $13.5M cap hit and a full no-movement clause. That means, even if the Leafs were to contemplate a trade, they’d need Matthews to waive his NMC. This is unrealistic at worst and idealistic at best.

Where’s the “accept trade” button???

To top it all off, the asking price proposed by this article is, for lack of a better term, preposterous. Outrageous, even. The author suggests that the Red Wings trade Matthews for…let me get this straight…their best winger, a young defenseman who made the roster at just 20 years of age, Detroit’s best goal scoring prospect, AND two first round picks? Are we being serious here?

This is the kind of trade deal you would do for a player like Connor McDavid. Your top prospect, a top-tier player, a top-four defenseman, and multiple first round picks should net you a generational talent. At this point in Matthews’ career - and at this point in Detroit’s rebuild - can a deal like this be justified? I don’t think so.

Conclusion: What are we doing here

I’ve written and deleted about five paragraphs about how ridiculous this author is and how unrealistic this trade seems when it finally hit me:

This was created to drive clicks.

The author doesn’t actually believe in the content of the article. They don’t care about the nuances of either team. They wanted to rage bait Wings fans into clicking the article and writing about it. Well, unfortunately, I fell headfirst into the trap. I’ve written too much about this already to not post it. But let this be a cautionary tale about the dangers of rage bait and what it can do to someone.

This rage bait was so good that I wrote an entire article about it.