Hello again, for the first time
Reintroducing myself again!
Hi.
Or maybe hello again. Anyway, hope everyone’s doing well. For those who don’t know me, my name’s Jake, and I have a problem.
That problem’s name? The Detroit Red Wings.
They’ve infested every aspect of my life. I can’t throw a rock in my apartment without hitting something Wings-related. I go on walks thinking about trades and prospects. My cat’s name is Jimmy, and people ask if I named him after Jimmy Howard. Do you see my problem? Do you understand the hold this hockey team has over me?
313 Hockey is a manifestation of that infestation. This Substack will serve as a mental dumping ground for all my thoughts and opinions on Hockeytown. Because, as we know, the world of hockey is in desperate need of white guys with opinions.
With all that said, I’ll lay out what you should expect and what you’re in for moving forward:
Hey, I thought 313 Hockey was a podcast
It was! In fact, it was actually the most successful sports satire podcast in the world. While I’ll miss those days, the podcast has come to an end, but its spirit will live on forever.
Okay, so what is it now?
It’s a lot of things. It’s articles on players and prospects. Opinions on franchise directions. Trade grades. Incoherent ramblings. Too many social media posts. 313 Hockey is like when you’re watching Lord of the Rings and have to point out that Viggo Mortensen broke his toe when he kicked the helmet in The Two Towers. It’s Amon-Ra St. Brown memorizing the names of every player taken before him in the draft. It’s like when you’re making pancakes and you get the first one right.
313 Hockey is this bad boy right here:
It’s a pleasant surprise, a cold beer after a long day. That’s my goal here. Something refreshing. A step away from the standard.
What should readers expect?
If you’re tired of reading the same boilerplate analysis of Lucas Raymond’s season, or hearing platitudes about draft needs, you’ve come to the right place. My goal is to call it the way I see it. I’m not the type to rely on just the eye test, nor am I the type to point at a bar graph and go “see? This is why (insert player here) is good, actually”. Using one or the other is like painting with one color. Sure, you can make something nice, but you’re limited in your perspective.
My goal is to take a little bit of everything and distill it down. Whether you’re a casual observer or a fanatical worshipper of the Winged Wheel, I want you to leave knowing you had a good time.
Here are just a few ideas of what I’ve got in mind:
Trade grades
Post-game coverage
Vibe checks (Are we good? Are we bad? Where are we at, people?)
Offseason analysis
Opinion pieces
Other fun (Interviews, podcast appearances, guest columns, etc).
Can we support you?
I want to make one thing clear: you don’t have to support me, but any help you can provide is much appreciated. If you choose to support the site, I’ll make sure to return the favor by covering topics you’re interested in and/or making exclusive paywalled content that only you can access.
The biggest way you can help me for free is by sharing articles, tweets, posts, and anything else I create. You can find 313 Hockey across social media @313hockey. Once again, thank you for your support. It means more than you could know!
Closing thoughts: Stay tuned for more updates this week 👀